


Snore War

by TheKoolKandy



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:22:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4419323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKoolKandy/pseuds/TheKoolKandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grif is sick and tired of hearing Simmons snore every night, so he decides to take his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snore War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [babbyspanch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/babbyspanch/gifts).



Simmons wouldn’t stop fucking snoring.

Grif had had it with these shared quarters. In the new base, there were only three rooms to sleep in. One was for Sarge, of course. And there was no way in hell Grif was going to share a room with Donut. So he was stuck with Simmons. Who wouldn’t stop fucking snoring.

Well, Simmons would get it because Grif couldn’t take another five minutes of the strangled pig noises that came from his friend’s mouth. The camera was set up—Grif was sure Donut wouldn’t mind him borrowing it, he’d left the home movies untouched—and aimed for the best view of Simmons’ shining, prone body, the shaky tripod jarring from each inhalation. Stupid equipment.

On the camera screen Grif brandished a hard standard issue ‘pillow’ and whispered, “I can’t fucking sleep, he’s been doing it for hours. What I’m gonna do is… I’m gonna hit him with the pillow.” He grinned and tiptoed over to Simmons’ bed.

The snores were even louder there. Grif was pretty sure if he checked the base’s Richter scale there’d be a peak for each snore. He couldn’t resist any longer. He lifted the pillow high over his head and smacked it down hard on Simmon’s bare back, a loud thwack interrupting his latest snore.

“Fuck! Fuck, Grif, get fucking down! I’ve been fucking shot!” Simmons sprang like a cat, doing the only full push up Grif had ever seen him do to shoot up off the bed and over the side, landing with a hard clatter on the ground, face first.  
Grif couldn’t stop laughing. He nearly gagged on his spit, bent over, the pillow dropping from hands reaching for his sides.

“Grif!” the still cat-like Simmons yelled from the floor, his voice cracking.

Grif laughed even harder. “No one’s shooting, you idiot.”

“But!” Simmons was up from the ground, his face as red as his armour.

He would have said more, but he couldn’t get anything else out as Simmons’ expression of dismay and embarrassment completed the perfect moment. And he couldn’t help but hide a little smile unrelated to his friend’s unceremonious fall. “Get down, Simmons,” Grif mocked, slapping him on the back. He was happy to be able to let the fond smile show through as he turned his back to shut off the camera.

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by this video https://www.facebook.com/LADbible/videos/2225002150880296/.


End file.
